12 September 2009

stress and frustration

stressed, originally uploaded by moshimoshiii.

i've been feeling very stressed lately. headaches are back and this heavy weather doesn´t help. working hours never seem to end and after work i have so much to do! mirrorcities exhibition is coming *really* close and there is still so many things to prepare.
i feel a bit lost, we're being quite ambitious here and i'm so scared everything collapses... and i'll make a fool of myself.
an amazing good friend might be needing me and i can't find the time to help. maybe i wouldn't be of any help but i feel guilty. we're having two canadians for couchsurfing this weekend and i feel guilty i'm not spending so much time with them. i feel bad i can't post the things that i've intended. i'm having so many new ideas but i don't think i'll *ever* be able to make them leave my head. i don't have time to visit my beloved grandmother (she lives in another city) meet my parents or most of my friends, by the way...

i spend most of the day doing things i don't think they're important and i just think this year will go away like last year, half wasted...

there are soooo many texts on the web about slowing down and time control and i've read them all but i can't seem to put them in practice. it's so frustrating.

my new year's resolution was to take in easy on myself but it seems i just can't. i demand too much but i would feel empty if i didn't get involved in so many things...

and the i get angry with myself because i have such an amazing life, i've been so incredibly lucky and blessed, so many good things have come in my direction, i keep telling myself "you know sara people have REAL problems so stop being absorved by your crappy stress!"

so i'll just shut up and give my best for the next couple of weeks and hope i calm down somehow.

(stupid as it may sound this text just came out in english, so i'm not even gonna bother to translate to portuguese - i just don't have the time - i'm sorry)

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